The autopilot hypothesis.


Being a literate and angsty teenager has its benefits. For one, if you’re as pretentious as I was you will see yourself as a writer, poet and deliverer of truth, and learn touch typing while you’re smoking pipe and pounding on a typewriter.

Helping my mom to move the other day, I found my old texts in an envelope – writings for the learned scrawled on it – and tried to recall what it was that I though so important. (And why was I such a pompous douche?) I remember having very strong opinions on religion and politics, and the usual teenage frustrations with sex and violence, but I don’t remember why I thought them so important. Who did I think I was back then and where did I see myself heading?

After a while you cement your image, your convictions and personality, spending a ridiculous amount of time justifying them and surrounding yourself with people who fit them. Along the way you change bit by bit, all the while telling yourself that you’re the same person and fully justified to do these changes to yourself even in the face of past ideals. “Never work for the state” becomes “unless it’s really interesting,” “I’m a nice and just person” changes your definition of “nice” and “just” as you improvise a life together.

Karta över 21 km löprunda

All of this is a roundabout way of saying that I ran 21 kilometers the other day and it got me thinking. One year ago I would only stop smoking long enough for the asthma attack to pass. Now I’m jogging, biking, and doing pushups because I feel like it. I don’t know what this means, and I don’t have a specific goal with the exercises, but it seems something has changed.

Fitness and body ideals seem like secondery issues. The interesting part of these changes is looking for what remains the same. How far does the idea that you become what you do extend? Judith Butlers suggestions regarding performativity seems to apply here, but is there something apart from the performace? What is the impetus of our continuous performance?

Do we just adopt habits and internalise them well enough to call it a personlity?

Meeting my childhood friend Albrecht the other day he commented that he saw no fundamental change; Whenever I decide to do something I overdo it, and this pulseclock–wearing version of myself is just a variation on a theme. So there maybe is consistency, that might be personality.


Those who met me for the first time when I’d just gotten the moustache know me as someone who takes pride in facial hair. My former students might recall a stammering slideshow and those who saw my MFA presentation still ask about lockpicking two years later.

Personal DNA is an almost broken website which allows you to do a personality test and then lets your friends do the same test on you. It shows the correlation between your self-image and what your friends think your self-image is. I filled it out for Anna and a few others and got a 70-80% match. When others filled out for me, the correlation was 40% or less. On the face of it I agree to 40% with my friends about who I am.

It might be all narcissism, but it’s Nacissus with Alzheimer’s: Wait, who’s that dude and why is he doing pushups?


The above images are portraits of me made from memory by Tobias, Jan and Anna using Flashface. If you’d care to do one of me without cheating, send me a screen dump and I’ll post it here. Also, try it on your friends and family, it’s harder than it might seem. Do your parents know what you look like?

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Ian Campbell sent his version:


Jonas Isfält showcases an uncanny sense of humour with his contribution:


Online dating? Good idea.

A link from told about a new app for the ipod that manages your dating profile from, a site that only allows people that match your profile to actually view your profile.

It’s mostly people in the states, but since it’s always fun to fill out questioners and see statistics of yourself I spent ten minutes filling the profile out. My dating DNA is 903-869-182 it turns out. I’m unfamiliar with the whole “dating” thing – it’s something I know mostly via Seinfeldt reruns – but I’m interested in tests and mechanics of personal traits.

The site seems to be a combination of We Neither, and Personal DNA. Go do the test and see if I show up as a match.

Odd search terms

Went to a one hour long interview for a two week job restocking a store. I guess they want to be sure who they pool out to whom, but I see a competing workpool company doing this all through video, youtube style, and cutting down on personel and office space.

I check the stats of this site quite often, and for the umnpht time I bring you “search features that have brough people here“. I took a few out in the middle, but it’s the last three that are interesting:

1 4 11.76% appropriate christmas
16 1 2.94% drunken christmas songs
17 1 2.94% favorite christmas tunes
18 1 2.94% foto possy
19 1 2.94% highlands bird and pet clinic renton
20 1 2.94% japan social networking

Seriously, highlands bird and pet clinic renton? I’m doubting the effectiveness of Webalizer. Have to use the Google analysis tool instead, even though it’s not as fun.

Then I took a test which proved once and for all that I’m destined to be alone and sooner or later kill people silently. Maybe this is what I should have brought to the work interview?

You scored as Special Ops.
Special ops. You’re sneaky, tactful, and a loner. You prefer to do your jobs alone, working where you don’t come into contact with people. But everyonce in a while you hit it big and are noticed and given fame. Your given the more sensitive problems. You get things done, and do what has to be done.


Special Ops
Combat Infantry
Support Gunner

Which soldier type are you?
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