I am writing my essay and my eyes are bleeding

Once I had set up the disposition of my MFA essay I though everything else would just be a case of filling in the gaps. Now I’m two days away from deadline with the essay in a mess, staring up at me with it’s small dead eyes, mocking me for the hubris I’ve displayed, taunting my futile efforts at being clever and rationally correct.

At the moment I have a hard time focusing. And I’m listening to “Don’t fear the reaper” to cheer me up. Bleh! Bleh I tells you! I’m being a whiny bitch, someone bring me soup!

Disposition of essay:


Introduction to essay
Short background

Work one: Flagburning
-Intention
-Production
-End result
-References
-Process analysis

Work two: Virtual Photography
-Intention
-Production
-End result
-References
-Process analysis

Work three: Lockpicking 101
-Intention
-Production
-End result
-References
-Process analysis

Analysis of my artistic practice:
Product.
-Failure thereof.
Project.
-Failure thereof.
Process
-An ongoing failure to perform.

From product to project
From project to process

Marriage, masturbation, mortality, Melvin

Marriage:

My friend Mirjana got married on Saturday. It was a short ceremony at city hall. And by short I mean really short. Less than one minute in fact. The halls were full of couples getting wed, and they were all processed on a conveyour belt (not really, but sort of):

mirjana wedding

In the image they have just turned their heads as the man doing the ceremony sped by like a small and quite fast japanese car. Do you? Do you? You’re done!
He even managed to include an aphorism about love that had us scratching our heads for a while: “To love is nothing, to be loved is something, to love and be loved is everything”. I think he liked the rhythm of “nothing-something-everything”. If it was “something-something-everything” we wouldn’t have had as much trouble parsing it as we had.

All the best to Mirjana and Dimitri on the endevour. Yay you! Etc.

Masturbation:

beautifulagono.com

I was innocently browsing the internets for images of cute puppies and things that would make my mom proud when I stumbled upon this art porn site. I’ve been suggesting to my friends that we should get in on this neoporn thing while the getting is good – there has to be other ways of turning people on rather than showing the same worn out cumshots – but since I’m not a very prolific porn-surfer I haven’t seen much of this new-wave porn but rather heard it thrown around a bit (mostly on high profile blogs like boingboing.net or violet blues’ tinynibbles.com).

It’s videos showing the faces of people helping themselves to a handful of loving. All the pretentious stuff aside, it’s very onturning. Oh, and if you click the image and subscribe I might actually get a free months’ subscription. help me help myself, so to speak.

Mortality:

I was on the phone with mom the other day and she told me that a kid I grew up and went to kindergarden with got stabbed to death on new years eve. His name was Samir and during a fight outside a party he and some other people got knifed. I haven’t found any accounts of it (there were a few stabbings in Stockholm on new years), so I don’t know what happened.

He was living in the apartment building across from my moms when I was in grade school, and we would have fallouts because we both were stubborn. The strongest memory I have of him was when we were in afterschool daycare and after a spat I accidentally threw a baking pin in his face (the handle came off while I was waving it around), forcing him to visit a hospital and get his forehead stiched up. I recall being quite frightened at the small trail of blood leading to the bathroom where one of the grown-ups cleaned up the wound.

I was too engrossed in the taunting and ostracizing I was experiencing at school to consider if I was being overly mean to him (he was two years my junior I think) but I might have been. Anyways. RIP Samir

Melvin:

mark melvin January party
Mark Melvin came by to visit us gothenburgians, and it was much appreciated. I missed his show cause of the marriage but he did get a small telegram (with picture!) in the national/local paper about the exhibition.

Yes, he usually covers his face whenever being photographed. I don’t know why. It might be because he doesn’t want any bad images to appear on any blogs or such. Too bad I have enough decency not to show the image I have of him doing the face he always does when frustrated. Damn shame.

Status report: Slightly flaky

Ok, so at least the domain transferred ok; you’re here, aren’t you?

That said:
* The images aren’t up properly and might not display, or give you a “missing image” icon.
* The Revver videos are not displaying and look like empty space. I think it might be something that revver.com has screwed up, since I can’t reach their site. This might be a firefox issue, or just my computer acting up. Works fine in safari. (Wouldn’t it be a good idea to have a homepage dedicated to filling out what’s up with sites that are down? i think it would)
* Not all plugins are installed, so footnotes and audio doesn’t work
* The main page is down. that’s cause i’m working on a new version, and the old one hadn’t been updated for more than a year or so.

Be patient with me (and this site for a week or so while i iron all the thingies out.

Prole: Day 7 (Fixed) (Really fixed)

Update: Video missing because Revver.com folded

I’m doing this on iMovie nowdays, so the font & cuts look a bit different. So much for consistency.

Oh, and I noticed that someone actually clicked that ad that comes up at the end of the video, and I am now $0.30 richer! Yay for me!

——[edit]—

Jebus chribes! This thing looks like shit! And I thought that it was stuttering only cause I previewed it on a slow computer. Ouch! Eh, I’ll redo it Sunday. Promise.

Fixed it. Screwed up the compression somehow.

ho-hum

I just spend ten minutes googling Piers Steel, a researcher who has published a formula of procrastination. meta-procrastination.

Had a brief chat with a guy from Pinstorm in Mumbay about some marketing things my dad is thinking about. First time I have a live conversation with someone in india I think. Neat.

I’m moving to a new host: mswmedia.com which is run by Matthew Selznik, who besides has the same first name as I (sort of) also has a “s” and “z” in his last name. How can that be not good? In no way, that’s how. Also, he’s written brave men run and podcasted the whole thing on podiobooks.com which I recommend you to check out.

Anyway, expect some downtime in a week or so when I try to move over this blog and all other content to another server and fuck things up horribly and beyond repair. Don’t know how well email is going to work in the meantime, so use mateusz.pozar@valand.gu.se why don’t you.

Prole : Intermission 1

I didn’t go to work today. the reason being that the pricetags that I was supposed to mount on every shelf and hanger hadn’t arrived yet. So I get a day off. Without pay. Oh, on Monday and Tuesday as well. Without pay. And this afternoon the contact person at the rent-a-slave company called to say that the last two weeks of my four week stint had been cancelled. So I’m not going to work then.

I’ve set aside four weeks in my quite stressful fulltime schedule to work a shit job to be able to pay the rent and buy wine. I’m not there for the benefit of my health or because I find it amusing.

This pisses me off no end. I can only imagine the poor fucks who have to work under these conditions month in and month out. Jesus fuck.

I’ll put together a video over the weekend never-the-less. If nothing else, celebrating the hangover I’m hoping to create.