Author: Mateusz

this is a repost of a ad i put in for all my old apple stuff. i post it here mostly because i put too much time to let it linger. if you’re interested, i refer you to this page: www.99.se/mac

–[snip]–

ack ja, ack ja. min mor ska flytta ut ur sin fyra och har bett mig och min bror att tömma lägenheten på våra gamla saker. det mesta jag haft där har redan rykt – mina hemgjorda tshirts, en samling serietidningar och reklamblad från -92 jag av någon anledning trodde skulle komma till nytta.

det enda jag hade sparat var mina gamla mac-prylar. det var med ett tungt hjärta jag slängde skalet till en mac plus förra året (jag hade så storslagna planer), och nu är det dags för resten av bohaget. jag har inget lager eller annan plats jag kan stuva undan allt i, och i ärlighetens namn så vet jag innerst inne att jag aldrig kommer att restaurera det och göra en raid av de 20MB scsi-diskarna jag har liggande. den med vuxendomens bittra insikt växande uppgivelsen gör att jag nu vill bli av med alla de här klenoderna till någon som bättre kan ta till vara på dem. jag ska försöka redogöra för mitt uppskattade värde av prylarna, samt det (förmodligen mer realistiska) värdet, men jag vill ha något för det oavsett – jag har suttit på mac sedan farsan köpte en plus -86, och vill inte bara ge bort det till någon som i sin tur slänger allt utom strömkabeln.

det här är en illustrativ bild av mig när jag skriver dessa rader:

om vi tar och börjar med datorerna, så har vi först och främst en pimpad mac plus. pimpad i det här fallet innebär att den utbyggt minne (fyra 512kb moduler om jag minns rätt) för att assistera en 8Mhz processor. den saknar skruvarna som håller fast baksidan (jag plockade isär den på fyllan för att komplettera med delar från en annan plus, och tappade bort skruvarna), men funkade nicely när jag senast bootade den in i OS 6.0.7.

minns att jag spelade leasure suit larry och dark castle på den när farsan inte var hemma, samt möjligtvis hade jag någon sorts prepubertal upplevelse med ‘mac playmate’, men det kan ha varit senare.

min första egna dator fick jag ta över när farsan köpte en quadra till sitt tryckeri: IIsi. med tillhörande a4-skärm (16 gråskala!). ack alla de retusheringar i photoshop 3 som jag gjorde av mina klasskamrater! jag minns bäst en bild av clara i min klass som jag var kär i där hon står iklädd en handduk, och jag med sexton grå-toner lyckades få henne att se oanständig ut. dessa minnen!

när jag började jobba som apple-tekniker fick jag ett bra pris på ram och maxade ut det till fenomenala 17Mb (1MB sitter på moderkortet) från föregående 3MB. jävlar vad det gick fortare, särskilt med ett nubus-kort med fpu (inkluderat!)

vänligen notera den fina smuts-gula färgen som de riktigt klassiska datorerna har. det kallas för patina.

sen har vi en IIcx som jag inte ens minns var jag fick tag på. möjligtvis från en kille som sålde på mig hela sin gamla mac-samling. (bland annat min första 14 tums färgskärm som kackade ut efter två månader)

en scanner är vad varje modern människa behöver, och med en state-of-the-art scanner för 256 gråskalor kan du inte misslyckas! jag har även programvaran i orginalkartong! (vänligen notera den gamla quicktime-loggan)

om du råkar sitta på en av de kanske fem IBM mainframe-datorer som finns i landet så uppskattar du säkert det här: ett 7 tums nubus-kort med interface och drivrutiner för att integrera vilken kompatibel mac som helst med militärens mainframe (tänk wargames). kostade på sin tid en sjuttio tusingar, men värdet kan ha minskat något sedan dess.

lagringsmedia är något självklart i dessa dagar, och det kan inte gå fel med externa scsi-diskar. tre chassin innehållandes två 20MB och en 40MB disk, och dessutom en syquest-enhet! mer utrymme än du någonsin vet att göra av med! (lådorna är i alla fall väldigt snygga) några syquest-skivor på 44MB följer med, och innehåller förmodligen min samlade kollektion av abandonware och de dikter jag skrev som deprimerad tonåring. (en guldgruva av ångest och underhållning alltså)

sen har vi så klart en hel drös med kablar; adb, scsi, nät, local-talk, audio, video. dessutom några möss, tangentbord, scsi-terminatorer, mikrofoner och två lösa scsi-diskar av okänt ursprung (förmodligen plockade ur den IIsi jag konstant uppgraderade)

jag gjorde några halsband av ram-minnen när jag var inne i min cyber-nörd period, och det är fritt fram för dig att göra samma sak. minnen finns i storlekar från 64KB upp till 256KB, och de är väldigt fina.

om du känner någon som jobbar på landstinget och är paranoid så kanske de skulle uppskatta att kunna låsa sina diskettstationer mot olaga uppdateringar av solitär. det här floppy-låset är nog det fulaste jag har i samlingen, mest för att det känns väldigt mycket pc. den perfekta presenten till någon du inte älskar särskilt mycket.

vad ska du då göra med dina nufunna skatter till datorer? frukta intet! till att börja med så kan du programmera lite i hypercard (väldigt snygg orginalkartong – apple har verkligen återvänt till sina rötter med de senaste macbook-lådorna), leka med aldus pagemaker, eller spela spel.

sim earth var det första spelet jag köpte. rent tekniskt sett så var det det första spelet jag övertalade min lillebror att köpa trots att han bara var sex år och inte gillade datorer. kommer på två floppys (en färg- och en sv/v-version), men den största behållningen är nog manualen, som väldigt ingående beskriver klimat, oceaniska strömmar och livets evolution. helt tokigt komplicerat. “spore” från början av nittiotalet.

en juvel i samlingen är såklart prince of persia i orginalkartong. ett av de snyggaste spelen någonsin, och enligt ryktet så är förpackningen så snygg att den ökar din sexuella dragningskraft med 400%.

allt det här är nerpackat i en låda från en rev-a imac:

och här är hela högen med grejjor. du behöver ett fordon för att forsla det här, alternativt kan tio personer dela upp allt mellan sig och bära det likt myror som just dödat en oskyldig och vacker fjäril och styckat upp kroppen. your choice.

hursomhelst. min mor ringde just och sa att hon har hyrt in en målare som kommer imorgon (2/6), och att hon förmodligen kommer att slänga allt då. om någon nappar på det här och vill ge en peng (vilken peng som helst nästan) så kan jag be henne flytta in det i vardagsrummet några dagar eller så.

om ingen är intresserad så kanske någon på återvinningsstationen kan gå förbi det i nästa vecka och få en flashback till sina egna gamla trolovade burkar och bli lite nostalgisk.

så: posta i tråden om ni har kommentarer, frågor, eller vill buda. alternativt kan ni ringa och motivera er. om jag inte svarar i telefon så sitter jag på krogen och begråter förlorad historia. jag är nere i göteborg, så om en go gubbe här ser mig på stan kan ni gärna klappa mig på axeln medömkande.

mateusz: 0739-474652

ps. allt det här finns i kungsängen, en liten bit från stockholm.

if i’m only tested enough times, i will at some point arrive at the answer to the age old question: who am i and what am i doing here. if only kirkegaard had access to the internet and under-grad studends conducting their research online, he might have been a slightly more jolly fellow.

this test took me a half hour or some such. if you want to know how i rank on some sort of ‘sexual amplitude’, here you go. then go and do the test yourself.

Test Scores
The following are the results from the tests that were just completed.

SES/SIS
You scored 45 on the Sexual Excitation Scale (SES).
The SES is a measure of one’s tendency to become easily sexually aroused. Scores range from a minimum of 20 to a maximum of 80. Higher scores indicate an increased proneness to become easily sexually excited. Results from past research put the general male population SES average between 57.2 and 58.0. The current average for this study is 57.9. Higher scores have been shown to be related to increased responsiveness to sexual stimuli, higher frequency of masturbation and greater number of sexual partners.

You scored 27 on the Sexual Inhibition – 1 Scale (SIS1).
The SIS1 is a measure of one’s tendency to be sexually inhibited due to fear of performance failure (i.e. inability to maintain an erection). Scores range from a minimum of 14 and a maximum of 56. Higher scores indicate an increased proneness to be fearful of losing one’s erection. On average, men in the general population score between 27.0 and 28.9 on the SIS1. The current average for this study is 28.5.

You scored 32 on the Sexual Inhibition – 2 Scale (SIS2).
The SIS2 is measure of one’s tendency to be sexually inhibited due to fear of possible negative outcomes from a sexual interaction (e.g. unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, etc.). Scores range from a minimum of 11 and a maximum of 44. Higher scores indicate an increased proneness to lose sexual arousal due to threat of negative consequences. Average SIS2 scores for men in the general population range from 26.8 to 28.3. The current average for this study is 26.1. Men who score high on the SIS2 are more likely to avoid risky sexual behaviours (e.g. unprotected sex, greater number of partners, etc.)

SDI-2
You scored 26 on the Dyadic Subscale of the Sexual Desire Inventory – 2 (SDI-2).
You scored 12 on the Solitary Subscale of the Sexual Desire Inventory – 2 (SDI-2).
The Sexual Desire Inventory-2 is a measure of one’s interest in sexual activity (i.e. sexual desire). The Dyadic Subscale score captures desire for partner related activity and the Solitary Subscale captures desire for solo sexual activity (i.e. masturbation). Scores range from 0 to 62 for the Dyadic Subscale (DS) and from 0 to 25 on the Solitary Subscale (SS). There is no previous population data available for this measure. However, the current averages for women in this study are: DS – 37; SS – 9. The current averages for men in this study are: DS – 44; SS – 14.

TSO
Your average weekly Total Sexual Outlet is 3.
Your lifetime maximum Total Sexual Outlet is 9.
In the original Kinsey sex studies, Total Sexual Outlet (or amount of orgasms per week) was considered a good indicator of sexual drive. Kinsey reported that the average weekly TSO for unmarried women was 0.5, for married women was 2.2 and for men was 2.5. He suggested that a cutoff of a weekly TSO of 7 was evidence of a high sexual drive, with only 3% of men reporting a TSO of 8 or more. However, Kinsey’s data was collected in the 1940s and since then researchers have suggested that the results Kinsey reported far underestimate current patterns of TSOs. Additionally, researchers have concluded that TSO is not a good measure of sexual drive as there are far too many other factors that lead to high or low TSOs. The TSO was included in this study to provide data that may refute Kinsey’s claims. The current mean average weekly TSOs for men and women in this study are 5.6 and 5.2, respectively. The current mean average maximum weekly TSOs for men and women in this study are 10.9 and 7.3, respectively.

SCS
You scored 1.7 on the Sexual Compulsivity Scale (SCS).
The Sexual Compulsivity Scale is a measure of sexual preoccupation and difficulty managing sexual thoughts and behaviours. The scale is scored by summing all of your responses and dividing by 10 (the number of items). Scores range from 1 to 4 with greater numbers indicating increased sexual compulsivity. The average score on SCS for college males is 1.64 and for college females is 1.33. The current averages for males and females in this study are 1.52 and 1.27, respectively. Higher scores are related to increased sexual risk taking (i.e. unprotected sex with multiple partners) while lower scores are related to safer sexual practices.

DSFI
The Derogatis Sexual Functioning Inventory has various subscales:

You scored 23 on the Sexual Information Subscale.
This scale is a measure of your sexual knowledge. The minimum score is 0 and the maximum score is 26. The average scores for men and women in the original study were 21.2 and 21.3, respectively. The current average scores for men and women in this study are 20.5 and 21.8, respectively.

You scored 23 on the Sexual Experiences Subscale.
This scale measures the amount of different types of sexual experiences you have had. Scores range from 0 to 24 different types of sexual experiences. The average amounts for the men and women in the original study were 20.8 and 20.1, respectively. The current average amounts for men and women in this study are 20.4 and 20.2, respectively.

You scored 46 on the Sexual Attitudes Subscale.
This scale measures how liberal/conservative your sexual attitudes are. Score range from -60 to +60 with higher scores indicating a more liberal attitude. The average scores in the original study for men and women were +27.2 and +20.6, respectively. The current average scores for men and women in this study are +23.97 and +24.88, respectively.

You scored 11 on the Body Image Subscale.
This scale measures your satisfaction with your body. Scores range from 0 to 60 with higher numbers indicating less satisfaction. The average scores for men and women in the original study were 11.7 and 14.7, respectively. The current average scores for men and women in this study are 18.9 and 21.1, respectively.

You scored 5 on the Sexual Satisfaction Subscale.
This scale measures your satisfaction with your current sex life. Scores range from 0 to 10 with higher scores indicating greater satisfaction. The average scores for men and women in the original study were 7.8 and 8.9, respectively. The current average scores for men and women in this study are 7.6 and 7.4, respectively.

Please keep in mind that average scores from past research reported here are not necessarily current or representative of the entire population. Averages depend on the eras in which the research was conducted, the group of people tested and their demographic characteristics. As such, the results reported are not definitive. Our study will provide us with data about sexual desire, behaviours, attitudes and thoughts in the years 2006 and 2007.

If you scored higher or lower than the reported averages, your scores do not mean that you are dysfunctional. However, if you are concerned about some issues related to your sexuality and would like to speak to someone about them, please contact:

BC Centre for Sexual Medicine
Vancouver Coastal Health – VGH Site
Suite 500 – 575 West 8th Avenue
Echelon Building
Vancouver, BC, V5Z 1C6
Phone: (604) 875-8282
Fax: (604) 875-8249
Reception Hours:
8:00 am – 4:00 pm Monday to Friday

petter send me a link to this: nobel peace price for hitler. sort of when saddam hussein got the keys to detroit.

how the times change, eh?

i don’t know what the percentage of creationist intelligent design believers there are in sweden, but it seems to be quite popular in the more religiously fundamentalist countries out there.

should you ever find yourself debating one, there is an informative rant here that could guide you on your way.

speaking of miracles of nature, here’s something i found in the fridge – anna was away in sthlm and i thought i’d clean something. please notice the small pebbles of fat that have formed on top of Herbert (the thing had developed sentience and named itself Herbert) (ha, ha. old food joke)

also: a couch and erotic horseplay between randy men.

I thought I’d hold off on publishing the lockpicking presentation until the new homepage was finished, but since that might take for-fucking-ever a few days more, I thought I’d release the video anyway.

Download it here: locks_lockpicking_security.m4v [right-click to save]

i just returned from a lecture by richard stallman. i tried to get some friends of mine to go, any friend actually, but when not even those who i thought were into computers and free and/or open software knew who he was i felt a bit crestfallen.

so i crammed into the draken cinema alongside a crowd of 99% sweaty men and listened to rms preach about gnu/linux and the four basic human rights as they relate to computer software. i’ve read most of it before, but it’s nice to see the man himself deliver. i had to leave when the q&a started, but caught enough to hear him berate the questioners as more or less imbeciles. he’s such an adorable geek in that way – if you don’t do your homework or ask silly questions he’ll call you on it.

(a photographic curiosity is that a guy at the other side of the room took a flash photo at the same time as i took mine, so i actually caught his flash. not that big odds of that happening.)

as of two days back, i’m a working kind of guy. from eight in the morning until five in the evening i’m behind the counter at the photo store, trying to imitate someone who actually knows what they are talking about. ok, most of the time i know more than the person asking me, but it’ll take a while to get the hang of it.

the past two days have been spent learning the antique system that they use for shipping and receiving. the stupidity of the system employed (which entails printing out seven different papers, using two printers, and a bunch of different computer apps) is baffling. if computers, and especially computer applications, can be said to have developed over the years, then the applications used in this instance are technically retarded. if you think i’m using the expression in a derogatory fashion you might want to refer to a dictionary.

at the same time, i’m filling out a questionare about chewing gum of all things. a gum manufacturer has given me a bunch of gum samples and thinks that they will benefit from me answering questions like:
I feel refreshed while chewing this gum
I feel refreshed after chewing this gum
I can imagine chewing this gum while reading or studying
I can imagine chewing this gum while walking, driving, using public transportation and/or bicycling.

me and a coworker (whom i gave one piece of gum out of the alotted six) agreed that this gum was best suited for “standing around” and/or “talking”. it was also a bit too soft. i can’t begin to imagine the amount of money the manufacturer has to shell out to get this nonsensical information that somehow will end up with yet another type of regular, fucking, gum.

seeing as i might appreciate some cheering up, anna and jan suggested they make dinner yesterday. awfully nice of them since my eyes lack a certain zest if not outright will to live after working (people work nine hours a day for a living? insane!)

anna has family visiting as well, so the dynamic duo decided to swag it up a bit and do a non-vegan concoction that would be esthetically pleasing, taste good, and (i imagine) be really cool and elaborate. so they dug out some cheese and bacon and chicken, had fish and shrimp for starters, and actually put the work in to make their own mayonnaise.

besides going out to get some pepper and lemon, i sat comatose in my room until someone calls out to me. tired, but glad that i don’t have to cook anything, i step innocently into the hall. the aroma sort of stops me in my tracks. i check to see if all that working and biking in the day has turned me into a walking pile of sweat, but sweat doesn’t smell like that. this is the smell of death. somehow the combination of fowl, egg, rotten cheese, fried chicken and whatnot has melded into something from CSI. you know when grissom or one of the others step into a room and immediately throw their hands up before their faces, saying Oh, God! What is that?. it was the smell of three hookers and their pimp left dead in a shipping container. and not the “pretty woman” type of hooker.

my food was very good once i stopped breathing through my nose though. tomorrow is a day off, and i plan to sleep until eight. at least

brilliant! a mickey mouse clone urging on kids to free palestine. the voice is brilliant!

let’s do this in pictures and videos, shall we?

in stockholm i went to the first of may demonstration with the anarcho-syndicalists. strenght in numbers is a good thing, and it feels good to be reminded that there is a political alternative and that other people might not be as absent from it as i am. after that i saw a bunch of wild rabbits in a tiny park – how they manage to thrive in downtown stockholm is beyond me, but there you go. my david attenborough moment. bonus material: taking the last commuter train home, some ants eating an apple, and me doing the drunk-look-in-the-mirror routine at a hff get-together.

i came back to gothenburg last saturday to help with taking the exhibition at konsthallen down. this is a time lapse video i made of it using the built in camera and gawker. the first video is of the deconstruction and painting of one corner, the second video is of the packaging of all the prints and thingies. a mad amount of work. one image every fifteen seconds in both vids:

in order of appearance:
– error message on the bus. blurry picture because i’m drunk.
– mom, brother and i. from a series of fifteen pictures.
– this is the reason you don’t keep open razors in the same bag pocket as your cellphone. it happened on the train back from sthlm, and some other passangers freaked because of all the blood. it’s still raw and i can’t type properly.

and last but not least: don’t even bother watching the new spiderman movie. it sucks in obvious ways, and more subtle ways. it’s not worth even downloading – i ended up fast forwarding through most of it. these people don’t even know how to use special effects properly fer crying out loud. oh, and tell me that this isn’t a freudian slip on the behalf of the director: spiderman is battling sandman and black spiderman with the american flag as a backdrop. i mean, c’mon. is this a too obvious reading?

occasionaly someone creates a new interface that is really neat. warren ellis had a link to universe.daylife.com, which is very pretty.

it’s sort of a mix between theyrule.net and tag-clouds. i don’t know if it’s useful, but it sure is nice to look at.

kungsängen. there’s an odd quantum effect here that makes me revert to being a teenager; i’m on the couch, drink soda, eat like a pig before slaughter.

moms boyfriend had a birthday party during the weekend (watch the video) and tomorrow i’m off to demonstrate my lazy solidarity with other working class folk, and meet some friends. too bad it’s so cold. but hey, if one day of marching a year is what it takes to keep the world just and equal, so be it.