{"id":137,"date":"2006-12-15T13:49:06","date_gmt":"2006-12-15T19:49:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/?p=398"},"modified":"2011-12-29T14:13:37","modified_gmt":"2011-12-29T12:13:37","slug":"how-about-this-for-an-illustration","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/how-about-this-for-an-illustration\/","title":{"rendered":"How about this for an illustration"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I haven’t managed to write anything on the essay today. Basically, I’ve been helping my dad out with translations into English and coming up with a marketing plan for his new car catalogue<\/a>. See, my dad is under the illusion that if you have the best product, it will win the battle for the marketplace. He’s such an honest capitalist that it hurts my blackened anarchist heart at times.<\/p>\n

On my end of the capitalist spectrum, I’ve been looking for a pimp<\/em> to whom I could offer my services. I.e. I’ve been looking at available jobs.<\/p>\n

Let me illustrate the process and where I fail:<\/p>\n

1:<\/b> Web editor with graphic background. preferably be able to land a space shuttle using MySql, PHP, Pearl, while being a teamworker & customer-oriented.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

2:<\/b> Writer for a travelling website. We don’t respond to emails and you will work for nothing until you have three million readers.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

3:<\/b> Translator of shorter online telegrams. Unless you translated the original bible, or have a PhD in linear-B, don’t bother.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

4:<\/b> Guide at a museum. Service-oriented work. Must have served at least four (4) prime ministers as personal assistant. Retrospective at MoMa meriting<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

5:<\/b> Storage worker. Organisational skills wanted. Only the top ten Tetris players in the world need apply. Drivers license. Truck license. MySql, PHP, Pearl guru.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

6:<\/b> Customer relations. Since you will be running around downtown with a ten litre thermos full with coffee, all we demand from you is your servitude and a rectum matched only by goatse. C++\/Java a plus.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And here’s an alternative solution:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I haven’t managed to write anything on the essay today. Basically, I’ve been helping my dad out with translations into English and coming up with a marketing plan for his new car catalogue. See, my dad is under the illusion that if you have the best product, it will win the battle for the … Continue reading How about this for an illustration<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[279],"tags":[482,1676,724,1674,1675],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-photography","tag-alcohol","tag-bitterness","tag-capitalism","tag-jobhunting","tag-unrealistic-expectations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4950,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions\/4950"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/monocultured.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}