Doodles – Page 3 – Monocultured

2007 – the year of suck: Cancer

Got a short email from dad yesterday informing me that grandma prolly has stomach cancer. Wikipedia tells me that five year survival prognosis of late diagnosed gastric cancer is 30%. It’s still not confirmed, and I don’t know what symptoms lead to them discovering it, but it’s not good no matter how you look at it.

Granma has always been extremely self-sacrificing to the point of absurdity in taking care of her family, and if some people can be said to live off of cosmic love rays, she’s living by sheer concern for the misery of man. Anyway: Fuck, fuckity fuckfuck.

— update —

Sure enough, it’s cancer and they’re going to do radiation therapy.

Also, my maternal grandmother is in the hospital as well, with what probably amounts to a gastric ulcer. She’s been ill for quite some time, and hates being as weak as she is. A couple of years ago when I visited her I remember hearing her cry out in pain during the night – she’d keep her shit together during day, but she’s more or less in constant pain and on lots of meds and I guess the stoic front can only last so long.

I can’t imagine how it feels to be clearheaded while your body is breaking down piece by piece. I imagine that at some point the feeling of being broken must become a personality trait. Or can you still perceive yourself as another person, a “whole” person?

Nuclear reactor DIY

* A while ago, David Hahn tried to build himself a nuclear breeder reactor, and hilarity ensued. As a kid I read a lot about blowing stuff up, but never did more than smoke-bombs. This kid started reading up on physics and chemistry and collected radioactive materials. Very good article: harpers.org

* This is rather odd. My old domain guiltyguiltyguilty.org has been taken over by a spam blog, but Google still shows the domain when a search for “mateusz pozar” is made. Yes, I do vanity searches occasionally.

* I once downloaded a video with a guy in a mullet describing how to fight with knifes. I don’t know if any of the pimple-faced boys that bought it found use for it, but it’s fun to watch. Here’s a video of a British person showing you how to defend against two assailants.

The best part is the one lonely comment beneath the video:

Banging gorilla

Take a minute and watch a pretty commercial.
Link: www.aglassandahalffullproductions.com

How fear of death make us react differently even if we are under no immediate threat. An article studying how this effect is used in the USA, but the methods outlined for coercing people is universal and used internationally.
Read here: www.tnr.com

A bunch of papers from MIT studying different aspects of media, online societies and computer games. I haven’t read a single one, but they’re all on my to-read list: cms.mit.edu

In order of appearance:

1) Per peeking peevishly per prejudice the passing of playable time.
2) Last week Elliot won again. The guy to the left is the donor of half Elliots genes.
3) Me at my hottest. And hungoverest.
4) When other people talk about the importance of having an economical buffer, I’m not sure that we are on the same page.

Iraq & chess: scratch-marks

Here’s an interesting and worthwhile interview with journalist Nir Rosen on Iraq. It puts forth the idea that Iraq as a country does not exist any more in any practical terms, other than as a flag. He’s being interviewed by Amy Goodman, who has done excellent progressive work for a long time.

Interview transcript available here: www.democracynow.org

Today is chess day at Kellys. Yay! We’re up to six-eight people each time, and even though I haven’t won, it’s great fun. One week ago a new player showed up and managed to cinch the win by only loosing to the second place player and tie with me:

11 year old ~~brat~~ Elliot kicked our asses. While we were drinking beer he was eating a icesickle. It was awesome.

And on an unrelated note, I have scratchmarks! I’m a man!

Funeral

Today I went to the funeral of a co-worker who died of cancer two weeks ago. I don’t think that I ever met her – we worked at different locations – but I recall talking to her on the phone when pay was due, since she worked the financial thingies. The funeral was a secular occasion with slightly less than fifty people attending, and overall it seemed fitting; I wouldn’t know since this was my first funeral.

Lotta had been sick since January, and celebrated her 40th birthday in spring. Looking at the casket, the sombre people, the sheet with misprinted lyrics for the group song, I started thinking of everyone in the building as diseased – each and everyone an ambulating cluster of cells on the brink of malfunctioning. Every wrinkle a sign of age, every small gesture articulating fragility. You notice the man who is limping slightly, the girl in the wheelchair, perspiration on the person in front of you, and you see disease through and through.

Take care of the living, the dead will mind themselves, is a good sentence to carry around. I imagine that it would be a different situation altogether if it was I who was burying a child or sibling.

Kawaii!!!!!!! and Aqua Teen Hunger Force not so kawaii

Insanely cute dancing robot thingy. Slightly reminiscent of a dancing coca-cola can that I had as a kid, but just so much nicer. And the video is just kawaii beyond belief. Read more here: www.beatbots.org

I listened to Dangerdooms album, and thought that I recognised a few samples. Checking it out on the trusted Wikipedia, I learned that much of it was themed around Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a semi-retarded cartoon series. Naturally, I decided to download the feature length movie that just came out, Aqua Teen Hunger Force colon movie film for dvd, and it proved to be a nonsensical piece of surrealistic something. I guess it might not be a perfect fit with you pallet, but I thought I’d show you the intro anyway:

If all anti-pirate copyright messages were like this, I wouldn’t object as much.

vegans & photos

As if it wasn’t hard enough to come across as a normal person when you’re vegan, there are now proclaimed vegansexuals. Read and weep: news.independent.co.uk

To cheer you up, here’s a very pretty way to navigate photo albums:
http://www.letstakepictures.info/index.php

This cheerful life

Recently, i’ve been enlarging the font size on webpages because my eyes seem tired and can’t focus. My eyesight might be going down or I’m drinking too much coffee.

The only contact I have with women is giving them price information while at work. All the bathing is for nothing.

The homepage that I’ve been sketching at is still not done, and the more I think about it the less content there is that I actually want to put online – if a tree falls in the forest and you’re too uninterested to take it’s picture, are you still a photographer?

My social life revolves around playing chess at Kellys every thursday.

Fuck-fuckity-fuck. I’m bored, and 2007 was supposed to be the year I would not be bored. I’ll just write the year off, shall I?

Dating agency poor copy

On my way to work I saw this ad for an online dating service.

The copy for the ad seems poorly thought through: “Too late! He’s already taken” (“Försent! Han är redan upptagen”). I guess that the reaction they are looking for is -Oh noes, I have to get someone while I can!, but if you’re feeling lonely and therefore might be looking for someone to date, the slogan is more a taunt and a slap in the face; -Yes you are alone, and this guy I found online is taken as well, so you better get used to being a lonely loser, you loser.

back from hibernation

Uno: The chess tournaments have started up for reals at kellys pub. Nice ambiance when you’re drunk and playing rabid timed chess against people who kick your ass. I finished third out of seven, and my nerves were on the ouside of my body much of the time.

I missed last thursday,and today there were five of us, and again I finished third. the good part is that I won against the guy who came first last time. fun fun.

Intermission: Women who use condoms are more depressed than those that don’t – apparently seamen is a mood stimulating drug.

Due: My cousin found a cheapo ticket from dublin to stockholm a week ago and I visited over the weekend. Lots of train-car-boat-ing, leaving me groggy because of locomotive sensitivity on my part. My brother is working on an old steamboat that tours the archipelago, and it seemed to be a stressful but fun job. I’m imagining all the scheming and intrigues going on on such a small vessel with a staff of 10-15. Who’s slept with whom, etc. I’m very predictable that way.

Intermission: The other day I woke up to find a sleeping bumblebee on my floor. I gently tossed it the hell out through the window.

Also, powernapping at work I dreamed about walnuts, prompting a co-worker to buy said nuts. An extract from walnuts can be used in lieu of viagra. What importance that has I don’t know.