Foundlings 2

Of all the 6 and a half billion people in the world, what are the odds that any two people are a real match? Stories from people who know they’ve beat the odds, and the lengths they’ve gone to do it—including an American professor who sings Chinese opera for anyone who’ll listen, to get one step closer to his mate, and two kids who travel halfway around the country to find each other and become best friends.

→ This American Life episode 374: Somewhere Out There.

[audio:https://monocultured.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/374_-somewhere-out-there.mp3]

Bernie Madoff woke up in jail today, after pleading guilty to 11 charges stemming from an enormous Ponzi scheme. How enormous? The most recent court documents put the figure at $65 billion. In another amazing Planet Money Radio Dramatization, Alex Blumberg, Adam Davidson and David Kestenbaum act out a Ponzi scheme of their own.

→ NPR, Planet Money: A Ponzi Drama.

[audio:https://monocultured.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/17-planet-money_-a-ponzi-drama.mp3]

And two clips from Weeds. I don’t know if I look forwards to the next season, but It’s prolly worth a look.

[flv:https://www.monocultured.com/blog/blog_video/weeds_song.flv https://www.monocultured.com/blog/blog_video/weeds_song.png 640 266]

[flv:https://www.monocultured.com/blog/blog_video/weeds_pictures_of_mom.flv https://www.monocultured.com/blog/blog_video/weeds_pictures_of_mom.png 640 275]

Foundlings.

I know books are supposed to be old media, but there’s something that feels futuristic about holding this one. It’s imperfect, disposable, personal. I can scribble on it and dog-ear it, and read it lying down. It cost around $10 and arrived in less than a week.

→ Emmet Connolly printed the web: Instapaper

In the process of pasteurizing, juice is heated and stripped of oxygen, a process called deaeration, so it doesn’t oxidize. Then it’s put in huge storage tanks where it can be kept for upwards of a year. It gets stripped of flavor-providing chemicals, which are volatile. When it’s ready for packaging, companies such as Tropicana hire flavor companies such as Firmenich to engineer flavor packs to make it taste fresh.

→ You can stop shelling out for that “not from concentrate” juice now. Q&A with Alissa Hamilton.

→ Good use of multiple exposures and merging of images: Peter Funch

→ Designers, photographers and a whole other bunch of neat people: Design Industry News & Discussion.

→ In Swedish: Stipendier från Publicistklubben

→ Also in Swedish: Stipendier från Svenska Fotografers Förbund.

→ Illustrator Daniel Dociu: Futuristic cityscapes.

→ BLDGBLOG interviews Daniel Dociu: Game/Space.

Warning Signs of Covert Eavesdropping or Bugging.

Many things in the world have not been named; and many things, even if they have been named, have never been described. One of these is the sensibility — unmistakably modern, a variant of sophistication but hardly identical with it — that goes by the cult name of “Camp.”

→ Susan Sontag, Notes on Camp.

A couple of hours passed. “Then, after I got a sandwich and came out of the store—da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! ” Gravy told me later, mimicking the sound of gunfire. “The only thing I remember is falling, and knowing that I’m shot—just don’t know where. It’s not like, when you get shot, ‘Oh, I got shot here.’ Nah. You know you hit, so your mind frame is—you pumped, your adrenaline is going. I reach my hand over, and I see I’m bleeding.

→ The New Yorker: Ben McGrath, Where hip-hop lives.

For those who know, this is the open secret: War is exciting. Sometimes I was in awe of this, and sometimes I felt low and mean for loving it, but I loved it still. Even in its quiet moments, war is brighter, louder, brasher, more fun, more tragic, more wasteful. More. More of everything. And even then I knew I would someday miss it, this life so strange. Today the war has distilled to moments and feelings, and somewhere in these memories is the reason for the wistfulness.

→ Esquire: Brian Mockenhaupt, I miss Iraq. I miss my gun. I miss my war.

That was in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and ninety-three. And then, the Years of Our Lord passed. I went to bed every night looking at that shot, I woke up every morning looking at that shot, every single day. For over 10 years.

→ Terry Rosso: Lens Magic.

Crooked little vein – a few thoughts.

Ever since I found Warren Ellis‘ Transmetropolitan in the Reykjavik library, I’ve kept an eye on him. I know I’ve linked his blogs often enough, and he’s long ago reached critical mass when it comes to finding odd things online – I don’t think he has to do any lifting these days, but rather have all the disciples of Whitechapel scouring the web for wrong.

My copies of Transmet were bartered for food a couple of years ago, but I still hit his blog a couple of times a week and follow him on Twitter. The persona he’s built around himself is charming — an alcoholic misanthrope with a heart of gold and a twinkle in his glass eye — and he’s a very prolific writer and blogger and whatnots.

I’ve had it in my mind to buy his novel Crooked little vein since I heard of it. Plodding around Stockholm I found it as a small paperback, and bought it along two other exculpations for illegal downloading. Took less than a day to get through the 260 pages, including the recipe for roasted garlic at the end.

I know exactly who I will give this book to now that I’m done reading it; Someone who hasn’t trolled Ellis webpages for the past couple of years. Because it reads like a very long and rambling blog post, or a bunch of 3AM tweets; The story and the characters are cardboard cutouts on which to hang bizarre phenomena and amusing word combinations. It reads like a Spider Jerusalem rant, and those were fine because they didn’t stretch longer than a spread and ended on a full page panel of someone shitting themselves, which is always good for closure.

Some of the scenes are well written, but they are few. The saline injection bit is one of only two moments where the narrator actually feels present in the moment. The rest is scenery and posturing. There’s never a feeling that anything really matters. I don’t mean this in the bleak oh, nothing matters everything is gray let’s cut ourselves way, but rather that nothing that happens in the novel has any real consequences. There’s one sympathetic character who actually seems to have an internal struggle going on, but Bob Ajax doesn’t show up for more than a couple of pages and is then dispatched by alcohol and cops.

There’s one central idea that I take away with me after reading, and that is how the concept of “mainstream” has changed. It’s how I understand the long tail discussion, but from a cultural point of view rather than an economic: If you bundle together all the disparate “minority views” on any issue, being in a minority then becomes commonplace. It’s the otherness that we have in common, not the quality that make us other. This is a concept that is worth repeating. It’s something that those of us steeped in the postmodern vat might take for granted but that a large number of humanity would shit upon.

The argument for a shifting mainstream is presented nicely enough, although it’s barely made before the novel ends on a romantic note with an action/noir finale. Most of this book reads like a parallel universe story – as if the main character is hallucinating all the time. Actually, imagining that the story is an illusion, that the Mick McGill is merely a fictional character in a deranged storytellers mind, makes it more readable. It would explain the non sequiturs and manic view of the world. Read it as a alt.usenet version of the movie Identity, and you’ll have more fun.

So. This book will be presented to someone who doesn’t know what Bukkakke is. In this day and age it might seem hard to find such people, but I know a few and they will receive a gift.

Everybody suffers! Join today!

I’m beginning to believe that everything about me that makes me attractive to people and makes them want to be with me might actually be a personality disorder. I don’t know who I am anymore.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confessinon #440163784

My boyfriend cheated on me and I retaliated by posting an ad on Craigslist and giving a random guy a blowjob. In his apartment. I’ve never cheated before and I had to get drunk just to be able to do it. Now I feel so dirty and worthless. I called him and my sister right afterwards crying and claiming rape. I’m a liar and a hypocrite. But I can’t tell him because it would hurt him worse than anything else I could have done.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confession #727171051

I drive a VW but the Tuareg, not the oldskool buss. My wife just had to have a Lexus. I’m married to a half frigid wheight obsessed woman, have a stupid dog (she takes it to those stupid shows every other month) and 2 kids who I doubt will ever amount to anything other than spoiled brats.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confession #334748862

Embracing misery, awaiting death. The story of the sick wuss.

I’m sick as a puppy kicked with boots of botulism, and have spent the past week building myself a cocoon of self-pity out of spit, phlegm, slime and mucous. My brother and I have taken turns to laugh hysterically at our miserable state and inactivity; I have listened to old episodes of How to disappear completely and drunk copious amounts of tea. As an aside, I have little faith left in the healing powers of whisky – massive headache followed our attempt at Scottish healing.

The running shoes I brought are still in their bag. The book I brought has only been opened once. All meetings with friends came to naught and I’ve spend some ten hours looking for a new cellphone because I have come to hate the Samsung I’m currently stuck with. On the bright side, I did get to ride a taxi from downtown to Kungsängen, which put my suburb in a more accessible place, albeit only mentally.

As things stand, I’m looking for ways to get home to Gothenburg in time to infect everyone in the city with whatever it is that I have. The streets will run foul with the stench of decay and poor hygiene, and civilisation as we know it will be no more! That, or I’ll just have a cocktail and go home and sleep post fireworks.

Below is a Explosm.net cartoon, followed by one from XKCD.com. Both required reading in these times.

Tan Le, co-founder and president of Emotiv Systems, gives a live demo of a mind control device that uses a person’s thoughts to input computer commands.

→ Fora TV: Tan Le at The Entertainment Gathering, Dec 12 [via Tobias]

BILLION DOLLAR BILLBOARD – By Lee Beavington

Damien gasped.
“Look at the stars! They’re MOVING!”
His friends ignored him, stumbling over the beach with bottles in hand. Damien dug his toes in the sand and craned his neck. He tried to rationalize the tiny, shifting white lights. Too far to be planes, too close to be planets. The several dozen scattered twinkles rearranged themselves in the cloudless sky. Maybe he had had too much to drink. Unless..

A moment later he read the constellation of satellites.
DRINK DUKE BEER!
Then the satellites dispersed. A friend slapped him on the back. “Do as it says, eh? Bottoms up!”

→ From the webpage of G. W. Thomas, where a different author presents a very short piece of fiction each day. I recommend you subscribing to it by email here: www.gwthomas.org

God, AIDS and tools in orbit.

God essentially created two conflicting accounts of Creation: one in nature, and one in the Torah. How can it be determined which is the real story, and which is the fake designed to mislead us? One could equally propose that it is nature which presents the real story, and that the Torah was devised by God to test us with a fake history! One has to be able to rely on God’s truthfulness if religion is to function. Or, to put it another way — if God went to enormous lengths to convince us that the world is billions of years old, who are we to disagree?

→ Wikipedia, rebuttal of the Omphalos hypothesis by Rabbi Natan Slifkin

Anti-retroviral drugs used to treat HIV/Aids are being bought and smoked by teenagers in South Africa to get high.

→ BBC: Getting high on HIV drugs in S Africa [via WarrenEllis.com]

Remember the toolbag that an taikonaut kosmonaut astronaut dropped a couple of weeks ago while fixing the ISS? Well, you can track it – along with any other satellite – here: 33442 Shuttle Toolbag

Burlesque! Caffeine & Suicide! Mustache!

Last Friday was spent at a party. A burlesque party. To better fit in with the crowd of Manson fans and strip-tease performers, I presented myself in tights and with a mustache + soul patch. I’m going to try this feature on for a couple of days. So far most people are bemused. I don’t know, is it too Wyatt Earpy? (Also, please notice the author pose I have going on. I’d be an awesome writer if I would only not have to actually write something)

Newspaper publishers should consider consolidating and outsourcing news operations — even overseas — to save money as revenues continue to shrink, the head of a major U.S. newspaper company said Monday.

→ USA Today: Outsourcing could be in journalism’s future.

In July of this year, the now-defunct Eureka Reporter reported that McClatchey has outsourced the copy editing of the Orange County register to India, outsourced the advertising design department of the Fresno Bee to India, and had intended to outsource the copy editing of the Miami Herald to India but ultimately changed its mind on that one.

→ Watching the watchers: Offshoring/Outsourcing Journalism: The Unstoppable Bad Idea?

Although caffeine does not produce with life-threatening health risks commonly associated with the use of classic drugs of addiction such as cocaine, heroin and nicotine, some caffeine users report becoming “addicted” to caffeine in the sense that they report an inability to quit or to cut down their caffeine use, they continue to use caffeine despite having medical or psychological problems made worse by caffeine. and they continue to use caffeine to avoid experiencing caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

→ John Hopkings Medical Center: Information about Caffeine Dependence

The motif of harmful sensation is a recurring idea in literature: physical or mental damage that a person suffers merely by experiencing what should normally be a benign sensation. The phenomenon appears in both traditional and modern stories.

→ Wikipedia: The motif of harmful sensation

Both McKinney and Bedard told me about people who took Tylenol or phosphorous, which also destroys the liver (and incidentally produces phosphorescent vomit). In both cases, they slept off the initial sickness and recovered for five days — during which time they decided suicide was a mistake after all and they wanted to live. But the liver had been destroyed and after five days each of them started to feel very sick, passed into deep coma, and died. “He knew it would happen and that there was nothing we could do about it,” Bedard said, “and his friends and family knew it, and for five days they sat in the hospital together waiting for it.”

How not to commit suicide, by Art Kleiner, 1981

I want you to know that I have a deep affection for you. I am deeply grateful for all your kindness. I wish I could have made a happier life for you. It was mostly my fault, please forgive me.

Suicide notes. ibid.

Jill Tracy – Evil night together:

[audio: https://monocultured.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/01-evil-night-together.mp3]

I’m looking specifically about a rejection of postmodern theory (I apologize for the broad terminology), that looks at thinkers like Foucault, Derrida, Lyotard, Deleuze, Jameson, etc etc, that accurately comprehend their arguments, and then rejects them. That is, if postmodernist thought is broadly characterized by a general rejection of singular, grand narratives and a method of critical thought that involves a disbelief in foundations — then I’m specifically interested in arguments that go against these characterizations and arguments.

→ Ask.metafilter: Anti-postmodernism for postmodernists?

Articles, stories and other lies.

The doctor in charge, who is now on trial, reportedly lured teenagers with unwanted pregnancies by offering to help with abortion. They would be locked up there until they gave birth, whereupon they would be forced to give up their babies for a token fee of around 20,000 naira (170 dollars, 135 euros).

Babies for sale in Nigeria [via Warren Ellis]

As the hornet enters the nest, a large mob of about five hundred honey bees surrounds it, completely covering it and preventing it from moving, and begin quickly vibrating their flight muscles. This has the effect of raising the temperature of the honey bee mass to 47 °C. The honey bees can just about tolerate this temperature, but the hornet cannot survive more than 46 °C, so it dies. Often several bees perish along with the intruder, but the death of the hornet scout prevents it from summoning reinforcements which would wipe out the colony.

Wikipedia on the giant Asian hornet

[audio:The_Cave_Part_3.mp3]

Rose-Marie Gascoigne of New Orleans was the first to answer. She had sat with her lightboard for hours each evening, accompanied by two disinterested tabbies. She said later that her heart had “just plain stopped” when the lights began to flicker on and off. “The whole world just held its breath. I could hear the blood rushing in my head. I knew what to do–what the hell else was that damn button for? It just took me a couple of days to work myself up to it. It was like sending a message to God.”

The loneliness engine [Via MetaFilter]

An artificial appropriation of different styles from different eras, the hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture lost in the superficiality of its past and unable to create any new meaning. Not only is it unsustainable, it is suicidal. While previous youth movements have challenged the dysfunction and decadence of their elders, today we have the “hipster” – a youth subculture that mirrors the doomed shallowness of mainstream society.

Hipster: The dead end of western civilization

And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed ‘a’ so that the stress that should have fallen on “nosh” is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you’re winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can’t you hear? Can’t you hear that it is wrong? It’s not fucking rocket science. It’s fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

Giles Coren: Indefinite article, definitive anger

John Schula, 30, a Latino male from Montebello, and a 17-year-old boy were fatally wounded in what sheriff’s deputies described as a gang-related shooting in the 3900 block of Aleman Avenue at 10:45 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 18. The double homicide ended a year of relative calm in Pico Rivera. It took place near where 57-year-old grandmother Maria Hicks was gunned down in August 2007 after trying to intervene when taggers were spray-painting graffiti on a wall in her neighborhood.

Los Angeles Times: The homicide report