Dear Lord, please let me have two seats
upon which I may rest my weak flesh.
And let not the person behind me kick the seat repeatedly,
nor the person in front violently lower their seat.
Allow me to sleep,
uninterrupted by others cellphones or luggage dropped onto my head.
And let me not worry about talking or passing gas in my sleep,
for that is embarrassing.
Keep any man with musky body odour away from the bus,
and smite the woman with too much perfume.
Let no light shine in my eyes,
not sun, road lights, nor computer screens,
for that is annoying.
Keep the bus on steady ground Lord,
for I lean my head against the window and bumbs make my teeth rattle,
and shake,
and I groan for death and deliverance.
My legs are too long,
my neck too stiff,
make me like jelly so that I may rest my weak flesh.
Lord, at least make so my iPod not runneth out of battery.