If you’re bored: improvise

One of the most popular features of the computers in the store (Macbooks & iMacs) is the built in iSight in combination with Photobooth. It’s not that the effects you get in the application are new or rad in any sense the kids might use those terms, but rather it’s the braindead sillyness akin to warped mirrors that is so alluring.

At some point I’m going to create a gallery of all the images customers (and employees) have taken of themselves; hopefully to much amusement of all involved, and with as few lawsuits as possible from ridiculed parties.

The statistical confirmation of my lack of “fun”

What I do on the blog is whine, complain, act grumpy, and occasionaly poke fun at the disabled and philosophically challenged.
Build and they will come is a bible quote (although I last remember seeing it in Eight legged freaks. quite an entertaining movie, with a lot of large spiders and lack of excitement.) and judging from the search strings leading to monocultured.com, my flock is slowly, trickling, making their way here.

Back in black streatchy jeans

I think i might be overestimating the streatchy-ness of my streatchy jeans. In combination with me sitting still most of the day and doing nothing but eating and playing computer games, the assilicious-ness of them soon will turn to flubber-container-ness.

So, I’ve been looking at gyms. Crap they’re expensive. And it still seems, well, extremely boring to do that kind of things, whassisname, oh right – “excercise.”

Got back to GBG a week ago, and it was a wonderful delivery from excessive heat. I landed smack dab in a two-day party that some folk threw together in the Valand yard, and although I was a bit too off to participate much, I had a great time photographing people from my studio window. Me and a poster of miffy were hiding in the darkness, throwing peanuts at all the people who were pissing behind the dumpster as there were no bathrooms available. (At a party with 300-400 guests who were all drinking beer as if they were trying to bail the Titanic. I’m still working on my metaphors).

Also, the comb-back hair-style I’ve taken to seems to be the official one. It makes me look slightly like an uppety twat, but at least my forehead gets some fresh air.

A bit of a rain, err, storm

With temperatures in the 40s, and with humidity that can only be described as totally fucked up atlantic, it was with desperate joy that I received todays short storm. And it really was a storm – during 30 minutes it literally poured down, making cars go “sploosh” through deep puddles.

Now it’s warm as hell again, and twice as humid. It’s bloody unbearable. I’m actually dripping with sweat and my pants feel like I’ve pissed myself!

—————update—

Here’s a video of the rain from the increadible stifling heat of the office. This is some ten minutes into the storm; it’s worth remembering that just ten minutes prior the temperature was in the almost-forties and not a drop of water in sight (if you don’t count all the miserable sweat, of course).

Bumb-ily-bumop-bymop-bumpup – a busride

I visited my cusin in Cracow the other day, and we ended up sitting in pubs watching football; Occasionaly I danced like a god (like a god I tell’s you!). Nice city, nice cusin. One night when we took a bus home to the subs I just had to capture the busride – the bumpiest parts where those that promted me to take out the camera. Trust me, before I started filming it was [——–this——-] much more bump.

If I could only find a way to work here, I’d consider moving for a while.

Three shades of hair.

Because beauty belongs to the world, I tough I’d share some self portraits.

From the top:
1) Mateusz sits in a really warm pizza place and would look even more haunted where it not for the miracles of image editing.
2) In Poland you can still smoke almost everywhere (but not train stations, go figure). In fact, I’m smoking right now!
3) The heat (today it’s 36C in the shade) has driven me to extreme measures, and apart from walking around sort of butt naked, i comb my hair back to give what little brain I have left some relief. Image taken in slightly warped two-part mirror; my head really isn’t as big as all that.

Travels of a sweaty gentlemen

Today is the first day that the weather has relented somewhat. It’s still almost 30 in the shade (that’s 86 degrees Fahrenheit for you metric-challenged) and the humidity is still horrible, but it’s getting better. (Or I’m getting accustomed to it)

Whichever way, I’m not going to Poland in the summer again. Ever, ever.

Caught a cold in Warsaw, and today is the first day that I’m not actually making diesel-engine sounds when I breath. Yesterday it was 48 degrees in the sun (118F). What the flying hell on a shit!

I’m keeping indoors until sundown. (Yesterday, after the sun went down, it was still 30 outside, btw.) Tomorrow onwards to Krakow to meet up a cousin.

As a result of my hiding, I’ve been online a lot and downloaded a pdf of Neil Strauss “The Game” — his biography of pickup artists and his way to becoming one as well. Fun read.

Other than that. I still haven’t found a good PC app to resize & crop images, so if anyone has any to recommend, let me know. I do take pictures occasionally, but can’t be arsed to download the drivers that would let windows recognize a stupid SD card. Stupid computer.