CFO explained (somewhat)

Tomorrow, I’m going to take advantage of an offer to exercise for free at a a local gym. I’m gonna try to keep my bpm below the aerobic threshold of 142 in order to become less of a disgrace than I am now – I can hardly walk up stairs without getting winded and I sleep like a cyborg on meth because I’m not expanding energy on anything except typing, frying tofu and masturbation reading poetry. If downloading shit on the Interwubs would require physical labour I would be Adonis incarnate though. (I just got 3GB of “shoegazing” whatever that is)

About this whole “Chill the Fuck Out” new years promise thing. It’s nothing more than an awkward way of trying to rein in all the pointless stress. To simplify life, if you like. Have a bit more fun, have a bit less of a meaningless time. Try not to lie to others nor myself. It’s a Doctor Phil feel-good bonanza.

In other news: My brother burned his hands. I think he got the CFO method down pat.

PM: 2009 resolution candidates.

I came back to Gothenburg in time to welcome the new year with a couple of friends. After dinner we headed to Heaven 23 (on the 23rd floor of a hotel) for drinks and fireworks. We’d been told that a strict dress code would be enforced, and as a result we all looked bloody fabulous in jackets and such. Anna and Hanna had given me a scarf with flower prints on which allowed me to play the part of a toyboy and/or gay chihuahua.

We pretty soon realise that the whole dress code thing doesn’t apply to the scores of hotel guests that have found their way to the top floor with their kids in search for lebensraum and alcohol. The enterprise we had set out on is now transforming in front of our eyes into an after ski, but with more expensive alcohol and family friendly music volume. Once the fireworks start the kids are swarming, longingly staring out over the city but probably missing their Playstation consoles.

We’ve been buying drinks for two hours or so and slowly realise that we’re not getting value for money. We wrap shit up and leave in search for other venues that might enjoy our custom, and where we might actually enjoy being customers. I’m still sick and communicate mostly through coughs and spit – I’m a whiny bastard when I’m sick – so it’s actually a relief when we give up on finding anything interesting at half two and take the tram home.

Mum just got back from Hawaii, where she and her boyfriend were seeing new places and having a grand time. Sounds like fun, that. My Christmas has been spent under the banner of plague and lethargy, and I’m looking forward to getting back to work at Chalmers and planning stupendous projects. Also, I need to make more money so that I can buy people all those Christmas presents I’ve been putting off for three weeks. I mean, my brother got two pairs of socks from me, which although they were designer socks, still are socks.

Contrary to the title, I don’t have a new years resolution yet. I’m working on it and it’ll be a good one. Promise.

Everybody suffers! Join today!

I’m beginning to believe that everything about me that makes me attractive to people and makes them want to be with me might actually be a personality disorder. I don’t know who I am anymore.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confessinon #440163784

My boyfriend cheated on me and I retaliated by posting an ad on Craigslist and giving a random guy a blowjob. In his apartment. I’ve never cheated before and I had to get drunk just to be able to do it. Now I feel so dirty and worthless. I called him and my sister right afterwards crying and claiming rape. I’m a liar and a hypocrite. But I can’t tell him because it would hurt him worse than anything else I could have done.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confession #727171051

I drive a VW but the Tuareg, not the oldskool buss. My wife just had to have a Lexus. I’m married to a half frigid wheight obsessed woman, have a stupid dog (she takes it to those stupid shows every other month) and 2 kids who I doubt will ever amount to anything other than spoiled brats.

→ Grouphug.us: Anonymous confession #334748862